I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
