So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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