the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
