I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
