you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
