is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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