O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
