Ambien. No doubt about it.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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