I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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