Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
