i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
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