Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
please don't ironically join a cult
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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