I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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