I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize