last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
