I'm really into asian looking animals
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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