I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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