the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
