i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
