i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
