She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize