just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
