She said her name was "party"
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
My life is pants optional.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
