she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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