We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize