I can tuck mytits in my pants
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Randomize
