I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
