Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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