All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
