He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
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