im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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