Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
