I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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