I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You've changed since you got that strap on
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
