just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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