So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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