Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
