I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
pray to the hookup gods
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
