All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize