Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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