Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
