I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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