ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
