In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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