Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
