She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
