Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize