First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
