shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
