I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
