Got a toothbrush?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
She announced her abortion via fbk
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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