Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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