ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You're a waste of cheezeits
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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