Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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