dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
