No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
