You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
