i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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