I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Do vagina's smell?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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