Dude my mom stole all your condoms
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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