My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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