So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
