I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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