Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
