i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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