no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
