Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
